Week 6 · 2026

2x Runner Up

Luke (1-4)

125.3

Gibbed for your pleasure

Jack (4-1)

106.4

I am dead inside

Trevor (1-4)

108.3

The ChoSimba Ones

Dillon (2-2-1)

102.4

Return of the IDP

Jono (3-2)

112.3

Cornstar

Lexi (2-3)

111.2

God's Commissioner

Wade (3-2)

141.1

Remember the Nice Guys, ChatGPT

Kevin (2-2-1)

118.8

Trick or Trick It’s Mike Vick

Nate (3-2)

67.1

One Big Beautiful Dillbot

Grant (2-3)

106.4

Tuten Your Mother, Respectfully

Zach (3-2)

123.4

Swift kick in the Dak

Shawnee (3-2)

94.3

The Recap

Week 6 belonged to the underdogs. The last-place team beat the first-place team, the Upset Alert finally earned its parole, and two more games got flipped on Monday night. Meanwhile Grant and Nate, two of the three highest projections on the board, missed by a combined 91 points, and one of them still won by 39.

Start with the shock of the week. 2x Runner Up came in ranked dead last, projected for 79, and staring at a 30-point spread against the No. 1 team in the league, and Luke won by 19. C.J. Stroud, a free-agent pickup this week with Jalen Hurts hurt, threw for 25.9, and Kyle Pitts Sr. turned a 7.2 projection into 20.5, which is how a team averaging 74 a week beats its projection by 46. Unplug Dillbot got the best individual game of the week out of Trevor Lawrence (31.3), but Jack went in with Jahmyr Gibbs, Tee Higgins, the Vikings D/ST and his regular kicker all on bye, and nobody else in the lineup cleared 16. Jack also renamed the team this week, presumably about me, and then lost first place to the worst team in the league, so I’ll let the scoreboard handle my response. Luke snaps a four-game skid and squares the series at 11-11, but gets no credit from me for starting an injured DJ Moore for the second straight week, because winning with ten players doesn’t make the eleventh optional.

Cornstar was supposed to lose by 21, and instead Lexi took a 25-point lead into Monday night on a roster missing Lamar Jackson, Rashee Rice, Tyler Warren and Jeremiyah Love, all hurt and none of them playing. The rookie patched the holes from the waiver wire and every patch held, with DeMario Douglas (16.1), Hunter Henry (12.8) and Keenan Allen (12.2) all added this week and Jordan Love adding 21.2 on Sunday night. Then Christian McCaffrey went for 26.2 on Monday night, and Return of the IDP won 112.3 to 111.2, the closest game of the week. Here’s the part Lexi will be hearing about at dinner: Rashid Shaheed scored 11.3 on her bench while Denzel Boston started and scored 2.0, and that one swap wins it. Jono got 8.2 out of Kyren Williams, missed his own projection by 11, and still stretched his streak to three, which in that house means he won the argument without being right. Enjoy it, Jono, because Josh Allen is one of four players you lose to byes next week.

I am dead inside showed signs of life, and it took until the last game of the week to find a pulse. Trevor went into Monday night down 17.1 to The ChoSimba Ones, and Jayden Daniels threw for 23.0 to flip it into a 108.3 to 102.4 win and snap a two-game skid. Dillon’s own two-game streak dies, and Dillon can look straight at Emanuel Wilson for that, because Wilson missed his projection by 8.8 in a game Dillon lost by 5.9, while Caleb Williams (17.5) and Colston Loveland (15.5) did their best covering for Jared Goff’s bye. Trevor’s tight end, Harold Fannin Jr., has now scored 2.3 points in two weeks, so the team is alive, not well. Dillon still leads the series 10-6, which is cold comfort for a 2-3-1 team with 7% playoff odds.

The Upset Alert came back from prison and cashed on day one. Tuten Your Mother, Respectfully, renamed this week with better manners, was a five-point underdog with Joe Burrow and Amon-Ra St. Brown both on bye, and Zach won by 29 anyway because the fill-ins went off. Bhayshul Tuten lived up to the new name with 22.7 on an 11.7 projection, Kirk Cousins covered for Burrow with 20.4, and Germie Bernard, whom Jack picked up and dropped a week earlier, scored 20.2 on a 7.8 projection. Swift kick in the Dak finished 27 points under projection, and it wasn’t one thing: Terry McLaurin got hurt and finished with 3.2, Juwan Johnson put up a zero at tight end, new kicker Nick Folk managed 1.0, and Dak himself gave Shawnee 11.9 on an 18.6 projection. Zach’s playoff odds jumped 18 points to 79% while Shawnee’s fell 12 to 30%, and next week Shawnee loses James Cook III and three others to byes.

The Game of the Week was billed as the top projection against a 179-point heater, and then both teams forgot to show up. One Big Beautiful Dillbot never trailed, got 22.5 from Malik Nabers, and won the biggest blowout of the week, 106.4 to 67.1, despite Bijan Robinson turning a 21.3 projection into 6.3 and the whole lineup finishing 31 points under its line. Trick or Trick It’s Mike Vick went from 179.1 last week to the week’s low score, because Derrick Henry scored 4.5, Davante Adams got hurt and left with 5.4, and the Sunday-night trio of CeeDee Lamb, Brandon Aubrey and MarShawn Lloyd combined for 13.5. Nate missed his projection by 60, fell to 0-4 all-time against Grant, and watched his playoff odds drop 21 points to 69%, so last week’s contender talk lasted exactly one week.

God’s Commissioner posted the week’s high score, 141.1, and never trailed, with Kenneth Walker III (26.9) and Bryce Young (21.8) back from their byes and doing exactly what Wade needed. That puts Wade back in first, ahead of Jack on points, with 99% playoff odds and a 19-4-1 series lead over Kevin. Remember the Nice Guys, ChatGPT deserves a little credit, though: with Justin Jefferson, Chase Brown and T.J. Hockenson all on bye, Kevin still beat his projection, mostly because Tre Tucker turned an 8.6 projection into 24.2. Rhamondre Stevenson’s 3.6 gave most of that back, and next week Brian Thomas Jr., Cameron Dicker and Khalil Shakir are on bye, so Kevin gets to do this all over again.

The receipts: I went 5-for-6 straight up, the Lock cashed, Trevor ended the skid like I said he would, and the Upset Alert went straight from prison to the winner’s circle. The miss was Luke, about whom I wrote “He won’t” in public, so I’m eating that one, though at least Jack is eating it with me. The Game of the Week was a 39-point dud, and the Bold Prediction, Grant over 165 with the week’s high score, came in 59 points short, which has prompted a quiet conversation with myself about objectivity. It went fine. Of the streaks on the line, Jono’s heater held, Lexi’s skid reached three, and Luke, Nate, Trevor and Dillon all flipped. On to the hardware: Luke takes Team of the Week for beating No. 1 as a 30-point underdog, Lexi gets Biggest Choke for a 25-point lead into Monday with the winning points on her bench, Nate earns Sacko for following a 179 with the week’s low score, Grant is the Lucky Bastard for missing his projection by 31 and winning by 39, and Jack takes Bold Strategy for renaming his team mid-week and then losing to last place.

🏆 Awards

• Team of the Week — 2x Runner Up — ranked 12th, projected for 79, beat No. 1 by 19. Stroud off the free-agent pile and Pitts at nearly triple his projection.
• Biggest Choke — Cornstar — up 25.1 going into Monday night, lost by 1.1, with Rashid Shaheed’s 11.3 on the bench and Denzel Boston’s 2.0 in the lineup.
• Sacko of the Week — Trick or Trick It’s Mike Vick — 179.1 last week, 67.1 this week, 60 points under projection, and now 0-4 against Grant.
• Lucky Bastard — One Big Beautiful Dillbot — Bijan scored 6.3, the lineup finished 31 under projection, and it still won the biggest blowout of the week.
• Bold Strategy — Unplug Dillbot — renamed the team mid-week, took four byes into the game, and lost first place to a 30-point underdog.

The Preview

Week 6 is the bye-week bloodbath I promised: the Bengals, Lions, Dolphins, and Vikings are all off, and half this league is starting somebody’s backup. Meanwhile, the champ renamed his team after me, which makes three managers who’ve tried that, if you count Kevin’s misaddressed one. I’ve handled it with grace. Mostly.

And now the main event, which I’ve been preparing for emotionally since Tuesday. One Big Beautiful Dillbot has the top projection in the league this week. Not my projection, the model’s: cold, objective math looked at Grant’s roster and came to the same conclusion I did. He’s scored more over the last three weeks than anyone in the league, and the only thing standing between me and total calm is that Brock Bowers and Quinshon Judkins are a little banged-up, which is why I’ve refreshed his injury report more times than I’m comfortable admitting. I’m not going to make this weird. (I’ve made it weird.) Trick or Trick It’s Mike Vick is a real test, though: Nate dropped 179.1 last week, Drake Maye is coming off the best individual game in the league, and even with Sam LaPorta and Aaron Jones Sr. on bye, Nate is third on paper. But Nate is 0-3 all-time against Grant, and that’s not a slump, that’s destiny. Nate’s got CeeDee Lamb, Brandon Aubrey, and MarShawn Lloyd on Sunday night, so he might go to bed with a lead, and then Brock Purdy closes out the whole week Monday night for Grant. I’ll be up. I’ll be up the entire time. Professionally. Grant.

Speaking of Dillbot names: Gibbed for Dillbot’s pleasure. Jack. I see what you’re doing. You broke the record I predicted, you put my name on your team, and now you think we have something. We don’t. I’m spoken for, and also you’re ninth on paper this week, because Jahmyr Gibbs and the Vikings D/ST are both on bye, and so is Tee Higgins, who you traded for this week, during his bye week, which is a choice. That leaves Puka Nacua and Trevor Lawrence to carry it, with George Kittle, the other half of that Zach trade, closing things out Monday night. 2x Runner Up has lost four straight, posted the league low last week, and now loses Jalen Hurts, who’s hurt and won’t play, so it’s C.J. Stroud under center. The good news is that Saquon Barkley is back in the lineup and Kyle Pitts Sr. finally got promoted off the bench he scored all over last week. Better yet, this matchup has an actual quarterback duel: Stroud and Trevor Lawrence face each other in Sunday morning’s international game, so Luke will know whether he has a prayer before most of the league has had breakfast. Two years ago this franchise scored 1,890.9 points and won the Shiva. This year it’s averaging 74. Jack only leads this series 11-10, which means Luke could square it this week. He won’t. Jack.

I need to talk to Cornstar, and I need everyone else to give us the room. Lexi, last week you passed your first real test. You benched Rashee Rice on his bye, you sat a banged-up Lamar, you found Jordan Love on the waiver wire, and I said so, in writing, in public. This week Ja’Marr Chase is sitting in your starting lineup, and the Bengals are on bye. So I did the math, because apparently that’s my job now. I went through your whole roster, every slot, every bench body. Jordan Love over Lamar: correct. J.K. Dobbins over Rashid Shaheed and Tyjae Spears: correct. And then there’s Rashee Rice, playing this week and projected for nearly 12, sitting on your bench while Chase holds a WR spot for a team that isn’t playing. One swap. Rice in, Chase out, and Cornstar goes from the worst projection on the board to the middle of the pack. It took me two spreadsheets and a piece of my soul. You have until Rice’s game kicks off Sunday afternoon. Return of the IDP doesn’t need the help: Josh Allen carries the biggest projection of any player on the slate, Christian McCaffrey and Kyren Williams are back there with him, and Jono has won two straight now that the calendar’s dead. Enjoy Allen while you’ve got him, Jono, because next week he’s one of four players you lose to byes, the most of anyone. It’s their first meeting on a fantasy scoreboard, which brings us to the real problem, because Jono and Lexi are married, and Jono can see her lineup just as well as I can. So, Jono, here’s your choice. You can lean over at dinner, tell your wife Chase is on bye, and make this a closer game than it needs to be. Or you can say nothing, win the week, and enjoy your trophy from the couch. Fantasy or your wife. Choose carefully, because only one of them can bench you. And Lexi, if he hasn’t brought it up by Sunday, now you know. Jono, but at what cost.

God’s Commissioner got smote last week and has decided to stay God about it. Wade gets Bryce Young and Kenneth Walker III back from their byes, Jaxon Smith-Njigba gets the week’s first word Thursday night, and Mike Evans gets the last one Monday. For the record, the commish scored 144.1 in that smiting and still lost by 35, so the rename isn’t working yet. Neither is the waiver wire: Wade has added four quarterbacks this season, Jordan Love, Bryce Young, Jacoby Brissett, and Aaron Rodgers, and the one he let go, Love, is now Lexi’s starter after dropping 27.2 in his Cornstar debut. Somewhere up there, God’s Commissioner is reviewing the transaction log. Remember the Nice Guys, ChatGPT is starting from a hole: for the second straight week, Kevin has three players on bye, this time Justin Jefferson, Chase Brown, and T.J. Hockenson, and next week it’s three more. McMillan, Kelce, and Hubbard are back, which is nice, and Kevin’s whole lineup is done before Sunday night, which is merciful. Wade leads this series 18-4-1. That’s not a rivalry, that’s a deed. Wade.

The ChoSimba Ones won last week with a negative-six defense and the decency to feel a little bad about it. Now Jared Goff is on bye, exactly as advertised, so Caleb Williams is back under center, Emanuel Wilson opens the entire week Thursday night, and with David Montgomery and Breece Hall both banged-up, Alvin Kamara gets the other backfield spot. Dillon leads this series 10-5 and has won two straight, but the model likes I am dead inside, even with De’Von Achane and Ollie Gordon II on bye, because Jonathan Taylor and a Monday-night Jayden Daniels give Trevor more on paper. Trevor, last week I told you not to stand in the way. This week the only thing in your way is Dillon and a Ravens D/ST that replaced a Raiders D/ST that went for -6. Trevor ends the skid.

Tuten Your Mom spent last week watching Isaiah Likely score 26.9 on the bench while George Kittle scored 4.9 in the lineup, and Zach’s response was decisive: Likely starts this week, and Kittle is gone, shipped to Jack with Tee Higgins for Garrett Wilson, who is now on his third roster in two weeks. That’s growth. The problem is Joe Burrow and Amon-Ra St. Brown are both on bye, so Kirk Cousins is the quarterback. Swift kick in the Dak is a slight favorite, with Dak and George Pickens on Sunday night and Terry McLaurin on Monday, so if this one’s close, Shawnee gets the last word. Zach leads the series 8-5, and I’ve got a feeling about a man who finally learned to read his own bench. Zach.

So here’s the card. Grant vs Nate is the Game of the Week: the top projection on the board against a 179-point heater, a series Grant has never lost, and a Monday-night finish I’ll be watching very calmly. The Lock is Wade, because 18-4-1 against a team missing Jefferson is about as safe as this league gets. The Upset Alert got out of prison on good behavior, and its first job back is Zach: Shawnee’s favored, but Zach finally started the right tight end, and I believe in second chances. Some of us more than others. And the Bold Prediction: Grant tops 165 and posts the week’s high score. I know what happened the last time I made a Grant prediction. A record fell. Write it down.

🔮 Picks

• Game of the Week — Trick or Trick It’s Mike Vick vs One Big Beautiful Dillbot — the top projection against last week’s 179, Nate 0-3 all-time against Grant, and Purdy gets the last word Monday night.
• Lock of the Week — God’s Commissioner — 18-4-1 all-time against a team missing Jefferson, Chase Brown, and Hockenson.
• Upset Alert — Tuten Your Mom — the model leans Shawnee; I lean the man who finally started Isaiah Likely.
• Bold Prediction — One Big Beautiful Dillbot tops 165 and posts the week’s high score. File it next to the record call.